mind & bodyanalysisThe Conversation: Arts + Culture (US)
Your personality changes when you speak another language, but that’s not always a bad thing
Bilingual people often feel emotions more intensely in their mother tongue, while a second language creates emotional distance that makes hard conversations easier. Childhood memories tend to be recalled more vividly in the first language, because that is where people first labelled and stored their experiences. A second language, especially one learned formally, can reduce embarrassment or anxiety when expressing anger or apologising. Research on Chinese-English bilinguals in the US found speakers felt more comfortable expressing feelings in English, yet felt more intensity in Mandarin. Proficiency and how the language was learned also shape this effect.
Your first language is usually learned in childhood alongside emotional experiences, so its words are tied closely to feelings and memories. A second language is often learned later, through school or practical use, so its words connect to feelings less directly. That gap creates a buffer, making the second language feel more neutral and less emotionally charged.
It shows that language is not just a tool for speaking but shapes how emotion is felt and expressed. This matters for teaching languages, where learners who feel at ease with their second-language identity tend to speak more confidently. It also helps explain why people can seem like different personalities when they switch languages.
Psychologists have long noted the 'foreign language effect', where people make more utilitarian decisions when weighing dilemmas in a second language. The same idea of emotional distance appears in therapy, where clients sometimes speak more freely in a language that is not their first.
The Conversation
Illustrative photo · Ashraf Hendricks, CC BY 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons
